Love, I have discovered, is a strange thing – a strange thing indeed. I do not merely say this because my hand has not been quite as fortunate as I might have liked it to be. Rather, I say it because I have noticed it remains to be a force that enthralls, excites, beckons and makes one become hasty when bitten to be overcome by it – in reaction to which we have absolutely no clue whatever it is indeed about and we come up with our own very interesting concoctions of it.
One of the most interesting concoctions is the “fish in the sea” concoction. Now if really there were as many fish in the sea or giving the validity of that theory some space - a few fish in the sea, there comes the obvious question – is it something that you just mix and match with? I mean is it merely a compatible companionship were talking about that you put together and you’re done? Is it like determinism but in this case is it just an option you choose from among the many “fish in the sea”?
A further note on the subject that is more impressed on my heart is the whole take of love being a “need”. Now, don’t go misquoting me before I stipulate what “need” signifies. All men and women have needs – to feed themselves, to relieve themselves, to be happy, to find joy, to be loved and to be made whole. One must be really blind to understand to overlook that fact that we are well aware of ourselves being emotional beings and the thought of going dry in that department can really send us in a tizzy or can make us react and make ourselves inclusive emotionless haters of ourselves (in addition to which we make everybody else desperately hate everything).
We do need to have that companionship but when we strictly view it as a “need” we bring it down many a notch to being platonic and satisfying ourselves with such a platonic relationship adding a touch of non platonicness to it to take away the pinch. This viewing as a need had taken many a form – playing the game, love kills but thrills, you’ve got to move on, you’ve got to stay in the game and has finally come to known as a status – more so with the option being on the many social networking websites to make known your status. Something that says she’s with me and I’m with her.
What does not settle in for me is that this becomes a lifestyle – something is epitomized by the very things that I mentioned in the last two paragraphs – there are many in the fish in the seas and you got to be in the game so you got to move on…which is the dilemma. Is it a race for survival lest you don’t find someone and die alone with no one? Is it just the response to the constantly painful notion of laying yourself out there and having to eventually give up on the dream one? Is it the result of seeing people whom you can swear are it and who swear to it that they are it but they are caught up in the whole “race” themselves to even consider such a proposition even if it truly does come along and presents itself and pursues them?
Let us, especially those who find ourselves in this loop, take a look at the matter at hand. If all this had to be done away with and you didn’t have to step down from the idealistic stand of the true desire of your soul, how would it be? When you can guess and hunch away, I have worked mine out. Here goes. Love, my friends, among the things it is not – is not a status. If truly love exists between two things, it is perpetual and there to stay. If it is what it is today – take as it comes, mutually discard when not working and “move on” to the next one, it can’t be worth it anyhow. And that cannot be what my soul truly longs for. I am only satisfying the fear of my soul to not feel the pain again, the pain that taught me what true love must be in the first place – if that is what will take me there. It is true and remains true. And my years of heart investment have taught me that it is not a commodity to indulge in as a part of my regular state of affairs. Neither is this race or the people in the race who indulge in it commodities for each other to treat so great a matter in such frivolous a manner.
So the next you are on either side of a conversation that ends up with “You wanna go out on a date”. “No, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend” or you over hear one, I ask that you pity yourself if you are in the loop of such things because you have effectively degraded something so beautiful to something that “only happens in movies”.
AIB, Value & Restriction
6 months ago