Friday, September 28, 2012

The Exclusive Human Relationship Paradigm Constrict

Society is made of us and we are made in it. That stands true in more ways than we can ever know. Our discovery of how we naturally grow walled into them will always be only in part as it is an ever-advancing dynamic process and we wouldn't really be who we are today to even discover that little much about ourselves without them. Complicated much.

One of the many effects of this is our understanding of relationships, especially the ones we are exclusive about. We pre-divide them into exclusive ones and non-exclusive ones. Going further, we conveniently subscribe to and unconsciously defend various social relationship paradigms to ensure that what we make exclusive stays exclusive - until of course it works no more for us, after which we find someone else to be exclusive with. That amounts the entire effort to more an excuse for some exclusivity, or any at all for that matter. It protects more than explores, seeks to understand or shares. It has a code word - commitment. One that has a meaning that implies much more than being merely protectionist.  

Now don't get me wrong. I am not defending promiscuity. One's morality is his/her own business. The only concern is whether the pricks inside, if they be, when you do cross a line, if you do, aren't numbed as they increase, if and when they are on the increase. The principle: You shouldn't want to increasingly hate what you do while, at the same time, you proportionately increasingly thrive on it. I am only seeking to understand the obsession with exclusivity at all costs.

It is a socio-psychological construct, or perhaps a constrict. On one hand, it's the construct we grow around noticing and therefore emulate, like we do with many other constructs (some which fall in the same category). On the other hand, it's a need for that elusive 'someone'. I can see where 'fish' (we have to catch and keep them) comes from to some extent.

I think we have assumed a warped parallel, to begin with, when we 'pursue' relationships. Perhaps when we take actually falling in love a little more seriously, we really wouldn't pursue it at all. Having to fall in love would mean that we do it without prior knowledge of falling in love. In any other normal circumstance, we wouldn't be very excited about falling into anything that we don't expect. It's like digging a hole for yourself for the sheer thrill of falling into it, knowing exactly how and when you will fall into it and how it will be inside that hole - all the while pretending that the hole doesn't exist in the very spot that you dug it in. Some adventure that is.

The adventure really is when you embark on it like going on an endless road trip and you don't know what you're going to see. Like everyone else on the road who also are on similar adventures, the (other) possibilities of whom you will meet are ones you probably haven't considered, probably because you have no paradigm to stick within. There are no rules except that you're armed with yourself, as what you are mirrors against the things you do and the people you meet, and you decide what the aspirations for your person should be, or if you met them yet in people you've come across do far. It's an ongoing process.

Relationships shouldn't be the end of the process, neither should they end. They should be the means to so much more that they promise, and must be essentially forward cyclic. Self-realisation of a relationship is almost the end of it. Conscious and intended self-realization usually brings it to its death, or its couch potato status. They just lie there while we wallow in our sad dependence on how the relationship must function so that we can remain at peace with our unadventurous selves. We may numb the boredom but won't really help at all. We deal with otherwise.We treat like an appendix that needs to exist. We have externally customised them so that we can sit pretty more, and that's worked very well as we can see. 

Long before man found out that he cannot possibly be an island, he always wasn't. After he found out and continues to theorise about it, he always never will be one, even if he tries to ensure that in ways efficiently impossible. Before he theorised about it, he was also small-minded enough to rightly understand that he wouldn't really be able to wrap his arms around it for want of arm length and, sensibly, for the inherent natural unconscious discovering adventure that it was taking him on. Desperation has no place in there, unless we live in those theorised paradigms of understanding which clearly don't see the need for that extra arm length they so require to actually be able to bet a life on them completely.                                      

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Rip Down & Recreate Every time

To rip down & recreate every time. That's something I've discovered the joy of, and have begun to understand, lately. I think, if applied to the individual(s) (collectively as well) and the world, it does a great deal of refreshment in an otherwise well-oiled machine we call our lives and well-run society.

Over time, we fall into the trap of routine and system. We just do what we do because that's what we do. Lots of times we do that based on natural reason - the kind of reason that governs anything that adds up to efficiency by itself.  Necessity, by virtue of itself, is self-definitive. We don't always control it. We just do it because it because it simply is necessary. We are governed by it. If we weren't, we'd be irrelevant first to ourselves and then the world around us.When not governed by it (fancy rich kids types), we are living in our own little bubbles driven by worlds of our own imagination (mostly holding our everyday lives to ransom by things we don't understand but yet submit to only God knows why). It's a very fear infested lifestyle.

The Rip Down & Recreate Every Time method is simple. Each time you do something, rip it down from the last time you did it, and recreate it, each single time. When you rip something down and recreate it each time, you completely break it down and rebuild from scratch. And with the increasing number of times you do it, it will be driven by purpose over method, not method over purpose, therefore being as naturally necessary as required to keep it in updated relevant focus. It will work better as opposed to a method repeating the old method over again.                   

When you actually put to practice, you find that it either convinces you more of what you already have been doing or it completely lifts your method to a new level of relevance, and therefore engagement. So while you may end up playing out the old method, you keep the basics right. If you simply played out the old method anyway, and didn't rip down first, you really didn't naturally gauge the requirement and will tend to be more irrelevant.

It gives whatever you do the means to keep your life exciting, fresh, real, necessary, without the fluff, unnonsensical, not overgrown and absolutely relevant. You just don't have to do it physically. If you do it in your mind first, and your present world makes the right sense that's all of this, it's good to go. The only fear you have to face in the process is that of your present comfort zone of functioning.

A large motivating factor to being able to rip down & recreate every time is that you shouldn't be jaded, at least yet, and unconsciously comfortable with the world and its well-oiledness persisting that it continue to run lest the world falls apart with its delicate support system. The problem, if that's where you are, is that when you have to replace it, it takes way a world of support for so many people who live in boxed, uncreative, drab and sometimes soulless madness that isn't really worth the everyday effort.

When you rip down and recreate every time, you open your world and let in any new kind air that might be around. You stay constantly updated. You prevent yourself from getting bored with the machinery that runs your life. You throw out the machinery and get something you can assemble how you choose to, not fixing in what does not suit your purpose.

Rip down and recreate every time. If you don't do it now, you will be forced to adapt when it will be an absolute necessity to, and when you have enough insulation to resist even that, you have means that are better used in the hands of other people who really need them. Remember that everything is always bigger that what it is/seems to be. If you don't peek over the wall, you'll never know.
(click for article)                             


Thursday, September 6, 2012

The sad tale of John & Sarah II

Continued from

So now, John had gotten used to being sad and gloomy. He said, "You stick with certain things that you know you won't find round just any corner." Alas, there he was walking down the road. Looking down at the road, he started kicking the odd loose stone from the tar that hit his floater sole. He was stunned. After all, he had jumped in with a pin tightening his nostrils when he wouldn't even do that while diving into a real pool of water. All he could do was kick those loose stones off the road. If he didn't find any, the sorrow just got deeper.

His mind could not fathom why Sarah was so. Now really, concern about anything is shown in action, and isn't some weird mystical telepathy that two people enjoyed. It played out in communication, conversation, response and, most importantly, the true joy of knowing that two people celebrated. Apparently, this instance was an exception, but with the perks of not being one. How that privilege was attained, no one knew - but it was enjoyed. If anyone knew, and could explain that, only Sarah could, but she had left John's fate to be absorbed by the loose stones that he kicked off the tar on the road he was spending his gloom and sorrow on. Oh the sad tale that builds as a result breaks his heart. Of what what ill deserves he this? Pray tell, not his plunge with a pinned nose?